Posts Tagged ‘abandonment’

In a very tiny column in today’s paper there is a notice from a parent asking his son to come for his mother’s burial. Immediately, I thought of abandonment.

This is a half fictional/realistic reconstruction from my imagination – out of many scenarios – of what might have caused this.

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A bundle of joy he was for me and my wife. Tiny legs, flailing arms, loud cries, beautiful smiles, white big eyes and a very complicated digestive system; all memories none of us would ever forget. I remember the time he put his finger in the chilli sauce and proceeded to rub his eyes😱, my wife cried rain that day and my little boy… I guess all I can say is I couldn’t use the phrase “like a man”.

I watched him grow but then we had to train him so he wouldn’t have a sad life. We wanted to protect him because we loved him so much and we didn’t want any harm done to him. We were very watchful of his movements, we thought him right from wrong, we watched the people he hung around and we made sure we advised him constantly all the while giving him space to experience things and learn from his mistakes

Everything we did worked. He grew into a fine young man and we let him pursue his dreams. He had been gone for three years when we heard he was successful and married with kids. Where did we go wrong to deserve such treatment from our own child? Is it because we are illiterates or because we haven’t adapted very well to a rapidly growing world full of things that are not human but talk back to us? Huge birds that carry people in the sky?

We left him and thought that perhaps he would find his way back, maybe he was just too busy. My wife wanted to go to him and confront him because she was very hurt. I discouraged her but she went anyways. He came back to us and we met our grandchildren. But after that, we had to go pay visits. Anytime my wife went to see him, she would always come back crying. Our son treated her like a housemaid and it seemed the only time he called her was when he and his wife were travelling, so my wife could babysit.

She finally stopped going. I could see her agony and her sadness. Slowly she went into depression and got paralysed. It was not a burden on me because she was still the same beautiful, kind woman I married. My woman.

It was painful to see her go through that. I always wanted to die with her because the thought of being without her was unimaginable. She died but not before blessing our son. Up till her last days she kept praying for him. I could never understand her love; that type of love, because as far as I knew he was not my son anymore just something I produced.

I don’t think he’ll see my notice. I don’t know where he is now or how to find him but I want my wife to die in peace. If he isn’t present I can only hope the love I gave her would suffice.

This is from the perspective of good parents. I’m pretty sure some parents are cruel and that is what causes their children to forget them when they grow. But in most cases, it is the former that happens. 

The irony is, children who had bad parents want to see the good in their parents and children from good parents don’t have the time.

It is very easy to forget the ones who brought us up when we’re trying to create a life for ourselves  and to forget those who were there for us before we became successful.

Image from ripleeforensicpsych.umwblogs.org