Posts Tagged ‘life’

Just friends🤓

One of the greatest things that life gifts you is friendship. 

Once you get a true friend…a heavy heart becomes as light as a feather.  

A tear never completes its journey. The trail ends abruptly due to a light touch.  

Tomorrow feels bright and colorful. 

Happiness becomes you and you become an example of life’s greatest rebirths. 

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In the previous days before getting here, there was no heightened feelings, rapid blinks, bloated head and fast paced pulses. I was completely light, flexible and free.

Now I am in this confined space where I gasp for air and yearn for the open space, light, polluted domes, synthetic hearts, and dusty atmosphere.

I need something that someone can give but someone else has, it is unfair yet fair; the latter being her and the former being me. If it were a reverse I would still be engulfed by this cocoon of discomfort because I would cause a rift that could have been avoided if I had tampered with my oestrogen levels.

This time of my journey in a world that seems realistic yet unrealistic-never mind…sometimes I have the tendency to be nihilistic but then I do believe in the Creator so I wouldn’t let that nature take the greater part of me thereby causing Him to cut the tight thread I am fighting so hard to hold on to- is so hard to avoid, I cannot possibly commit the cowardly act of running away?

I need to stay and fight, break through, tear down, plant explosive devices and clean up the carcass that will be my blood machine.

Such deceit that my intricate organ plays on itself. Such a pity that it is in my cranium and the other that decides to act the fool probably because it is suffocated by layers of pigment, fat, cartilage, bone or tied down by a network of long thin tubes.

They never let my decisions be the final word instead, they bounce and thrust, shove and burst until the ache comes causing my pores to expand and water, making me see little round circular rainbows, turning my optical vision into a microscope, even worse in sleep it is open and sees more images from my organ, such trickery that is mastered it does succeed in making me give in to irrational thoughts often deluding myself of reality. It pushes, the fool pushes, such painful jabs to my chest, it does not like to be ignored but I prefer deceit not foolishness so endurance might take the place of my name.

I had no idea that there was another enemy that crossed all negative adjectives and became smart, it is often underestimated and because of this it is given time to develop and concoct a series of curved and straight lines.

It makes allies with the pharynx and epiglottis then attacks in such a way that is rather invisible but later becomes so transparent giving its victim a tendency for insanity, suicidal thoughts and a qualifier for electromagnetic shocks.

In the event that on this day I should spill my guts to the one who tainted it, don’t put me in a coffin because that would be an insult to me.

I want exposure. Should I decay, leave me be in my disintegration because all I have done is give excuses for the very innocent parts that I control but mostly because I finally have what I need that I didn’t really give thought to wanting since my wanting wanted something else that would have caused massive destruction and made me deny my birthright.

MiniMe is back and she decided to make her entry quite “grand”!

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Mum’s picture

I was in the market today and I just sat in the passenger seat looking at every single person walking on the road. I watched them and categorised them. They were mostly stereotypes. The pregnant housewife with a baby on her back, a child holding her hand and bags of groceries on the other. College girls cat walking dreaming of marriage to a rich and handsome man. Local hoodlums with cheap earpieces in their ears thinking of the drugs and alcohol and girls they’ll get later in the night; looking forward to the next robbery they’ll make.

While I was busy stereotyping, at the back of my mind I knew I was in a crowded area and hadn’t forgotten that the last bombing was not far from where I was. I thought to myself, what if the car beside me has a bomb in it? Or what if one of these people walking pulls out gun and starts firing sporadically or a hijacker enters the drivers seat and kidnaps me? Questions questions questions.

I have seen the worst in a crisis before, one time a teenager placed a really long dagger on my throat- at the time I was 12 – and asked me to pray, another time, I watched in horror as a mob pounced on a man and poured petrol on him and set him alight, I also watched  youths like me as  they ate another human being “an act done in war, they said”.

I would have thought that after witnessing all this I should be immune to fear but fear is still there. I have accepted the type of environment I am in and have adapted so much that I don’t fear death. The only thing I fear is how my death will be like.

I don’t want to die in the hands of another human being, I don’t want to die painfully… I just want a smooth passing. When I say these things to my friends they look at me like I am some sort of psycho but I will not live in self denial or close my eyes to the probabilities.

Let me not divert from the main message here though. Do I want to be a stereotype?( If death doesn’t come early) A girl who gets married eventually, secures some sort of menial job, have children, cook, clean, watch tv, eat and sleep, get grandchildren and then die?? No.

That is not what life is supposed to be like. I want to see the world, find love (not this generation’s version of love but our grandparents/great grandparents version, do something great. Not be too rich but just finding a balance.

I will not settle for normal. I will be the girl wearing a red shirt among other people wearing blue shirts. I will settle for different. Let them talk, let them say and think what they want. They aren’t me and will never be me.

CAUTIONARY ADVICE: if you’ve had a bad day, do not read this. Depending on how emotional you are, this writeup might be depressing for you and might make your day worse. Come back some other time if you wish.

Today was a sad day for many. A terrorist attack at a café in Sydney, Australia, left two dead including the gunman. I hate speaking about tragic events because it just makes me sad and downcast. But I have to because, so many people take a lot of things for granted while others are aware but choose not to SEE because they cannot face the truth. And the truth to many is brutal; one thing about it is that it may piss you off at first but it will set you free.

cropped-img_0709.jpg Life is an endless circle. Generations come and go, but the earth lasts forever. The sun rises, and the sun sets, and then it rushes back to the place where it will rise again. The wind blows toward the south and shifts toward the north. Round and round it blows. It blows in a full circle. All streams flow into the sea but the sea is never full. The water finds it way back to the place where the streams began in order to start flowing again.

Whatever has happened before will happen again. Whatever has been done before will be done again.

People always say the world will be better and life will be good. In my own opinion, the world was, is and will always be “better”. Life IS good. Some of us fail to realise, that everything happening on earth took place before. There is nothing new under the sun.

People killed each other before; they stole and committed all sorts of crimes. When World War One occurred, victims and witnesses thought that was the end. Those of us that weren’t born yet only have archive footages and books. But we will never understand or feel the terror of those that witnessed it. That is why we think everything that is happening today is worse than events of past times.

I see everything as pointless. Everything turns out the same way for everyone. All people will share the same destiny, whether they are good or bad. And that thing is death. But I know that people who are alive have more hope than those that are dead. All of us who live know that we will die but the dead know nothing. They are gone forever. What reward is there for them? The memory of them will fade and they can’t take part in anything that happens on earth.

So what do I say for us who are all alive?

  1.  Enjoy life with those we love. This is what we get for our hard work
  2. Whatever presents itself for us to do, do it with all of our might because there is no knowledge, planning or skill in the grave where we’re all going

The two people that died today probably woke up thinking “o! Another beautiful day or stressful day!” It is also possible that they were not satisfied, happy, contented or at peace with themselves. They might have been planning on doing something, all the while postponing or procrastinating.

Even if people may live for many years, they should enjoy every one of them while remembering that there will be many dark days. Live boldly making sure that you put wisdom first. The clock is ticking and everyday we age.

Nothing is new. Nothing from the past is remembered. A Quote by Aristotle:

Remember that time slurs over everything, let all deeds fade, blurs all writings and kills all memories. Exempt are only those which dig into the hearts of men by love.

And in the future, those who come after us will remember nothing.

Let us remember those who were affected in today’s attack and all those who are suffering presently. It could or can be one of us. All we have is time and no one knows when it will stop ticking for us. Enjoy life; don’t die sad and miserable.

If you are thinking “o I am too old”, stop. You are never too old to do anything. You might look in the mirror and see wrinkles, sagged skin and baggy eyes but know that age is in the heart. If you feel old you will act old but if you feel young at heart you will act young. It is all about perception.

REFERENCE: The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible.

You might not be religious but it is not wrong to study. The Bible is also a book.

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “An Extreme Tale.”

It was early this year when one one and only shortfilm got the award for best student film. I still remember the joyful screams of my colleagues coming from the other end of the line. My name appeared in yet another newspaper article even though they spelt it incorrectly.

The months that followed was a happy one but it was short lived. The chibok Girls were kidnapped by the well known terrorist group BokoHaram. I began to wonder what my fate as a female was in the world. I felt insecure, afraid and numb in a country I grew to love. I no longer had the zeal to do what I loved. I just wanted to stay at home and never go out. The depression was setting in and the fear gradually increasing.

I felt guilty for laughing, eating and sleeping, when those girls were still out there in the bush suffering.

At that particular juncture, I just wanted to leave the world but it struck me as pointless. I said to myself “you can’t stop what is happening. It is impossible to leave in a world that is void of suffering. Not when the lust for power is still out there”.
I gradually got over it and spent my time praying and hoping that those people who are suffering out there, find the strength to keep on living.

If there is one thing I believe, it is that there is always peace after the storm.